Dear Mom
by babybensler
Summary: this fic is set in an alternate universe, and Serena Benson is back b*tches
1. History Lesson

**Stabler Residence**

 **Thursday, September 5**

 **7:02 am**

"Mommy, I _hate_ my new uni-uni-what's this thing called again?" Pia looked up at her mother with her big brown eyes, dissatisfied with the new uniform she had to wear for her first day of kindergarten.

"It's called a uniform baby, and why don't you like it? This is what big girls wear once they go on to kindergarten," Olivia kneeled down in front of her daughter and ran her hands through her curly brown hair.

"Well then take me back to preschool with the babies, I don't like this!" she threw her cardigan on the floor and ran to lock herself in her closet. Olivia sighed, feeling defeated this morning already. Today was Pia's first day at her new private school and she had been hoping this day would have gone a lot smoother. She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her chestnut waves before standing on the other side of the closet door.

"Pia.." she said calmly.

"I want daddy!" Pia screamed on the other side of the door. Olivia had to admit she wasn't shocked. She was a daddy's girl and had Elliot wrapped around her little finger- both of his girls did.

Olivia regretfully went to find Elliot in their room in only his slacks and undershirt. "It's only 7:30, why do you already look done for the day?" he walked over to her, noticing how tired she had looked.

"Pia is asking for you, she's refusing to wear her new uniform and has locked herself in the closet," she took a deep breath and released, trying to remember that these were the years full of testing.

"Hey don't worry, I'll get her in her new uniform _and_ downstairs for breakfast. Why don't you go and enjoy a cup of tea? I don't want this one coming early like his sister," Elliot wrapped his arms around her from behind and ran them over her small swell.

"The doctor says he's fine, I'm fine..everything will be okay," she turned her head to kiss him before heading downstairs.

She was almost seven months into this pregnancy and Elliot was praying she'd at least make it to eight. When Olivia had gotten pregnant with their eldest, Corinna, it had been an easy pregnancy. Despite the fact that they were both Juniors in college, they both made it work after her birth. Elliot worked his way through school to provide for Olivia and Corinna, eventually moving on to starting his own business. Olivia however..ended up becoming a full time mother to Corinna after finding out the cost of childcare was well out of their budget. She'd always promised herself she would go back to school and get her degree to become a rape crisis counselor, but once Corinna was in school she had already begun to feel like it was _too late._ It was ten years before she had Pia. She was born premature, almost 10 weeks early, but Pia had fought like hell and came home finally after 5 weeks in NICU- their miracle baby.

And now years later she was pregnant again at the age of 37. It was risky, her and Elliot both knew but they wanted to try at least one more time for a baby boy. She needed a little Elliot.

"Morning Corinna," Olivia rounded the corner and entered into the kitchen, still in her pajamas and robe. She kissed her daughter's forehead who sat at the kitchen island barely paying attention to the bowl of cereal she had in front of her.

"Hey mom, so do you think I can borrow a few dollars and go to the mall with Lena after school?" she took a moment to look up from her phone but quickly returned to texting away.

"What's 'a few dollars'? I just gave you money to go shopping last weekend," Olivia started on a bowl of oatmeal and fresh strawberries for Pia- the only thing she would eat these days.

"I know but there's these new shoes that I want..they're $150 but-"

"$150? No way Corinna-"

"But mom everyone has them and- and it would be _so_ much easier if you would just give me a credit card like the rest of my friend's parents do," she pouted in her seat, her long dark hair falling over her face.

"They have credit cards because they are just a bunch of spoiled brats whose parents just let them run the streets do whatever they want, but you my dear won't be getting any credit cards until you're old enough to get one on your own. Now I don't want to hear about this ever again," Olivia had had enough of her daughter constantly asking for money and not understanding the value of a dollar.

"This isn't fair! We're loaded and all you guys like to do is sit on all this money and make me miserable!" she spat back at her mother raising her voice a few octaves sending Olivia's blood pressure through the roof. "Sometimes you can be a real bitch," she tried to mumble under her breath but didn't go unheard by Elliot who was coming down the hall with Pia in his arms. The room fell silent when he entered, anger already flashing across his face. Corinna had been slick at the mouth as of late and they had been trying their best to discipline her, but each time she just bit back harder.

"Elliot-" Olivia said calmly knowing that his short temper had often gotten the best of him.

"Are you kidding me? Did you really just call your mother bitch?" he placed Pia on the ground and went over to where Corinna had been sitting. "The same mother who quit school to raise you? Who sacrifices so much for you everyday? Who shows up to every game, makes sure dinner is always ready for you, does everything around this house?"

"Elliot! Not now," Olivia snapped at him nodding her head towards Pia who sat at the small dining table in the kitchen eating her breakfast. She was just as upset as him with their daughters harsh words, but now just wasn't the time for this conversation.

Elliot's shoulders had relaxed and the strain in his neck had decreased when he looked over at Olivia. She was the one who helped keep him balanced and his head on straight. Seeing her pregnant form had reminded him for the sake of her health he needed to at least _try_ to keep his anger in tact.

"Baby please go upstairs and gather your things for school. It'll be time to go soon," Olivia ran her hand down Corinna's back and gave her a small smile before the young girl got up and went to do as her mother said, slightly thankful she had saved her from her father's rage.

"You can't keep dismissing all of the nasty things that come out of her mouth. She needs to be put in her place- Olivia, she called you a bitch!" he whispered harshly.

"I know I know," she placed both of her hands on his chest. "After school her and I will be having a _very_ long talk because yelling at her obviously is doing nothing," she sighed and leaned in to peck his lips. "You better get going before you're late," he complied, knowing this was an argument he wouldn't win.

"Just promise me you'll take it easy today?" he placed both hands on her belly, feeling the light movements of their baby boy.

"Yeah yeah," she rolled her eyes playfully and kissed him one more time before shooing him away. He went to kiss Pia goodbye before grabbing his keys and heading to the garage.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Thursday, September 5**

 **6:14 pm**

It had been a long day full of thinking for Olivia trying to decide what was the best way to go about what happened with Corinna this morning. She was her age at once and just like her she was angry with her mother for other reasons she wouldn't admit. It had been a battle the last few months. Corinna was starting her junior year of high school and for some reason she thought that meant she suddenly had a new set of freedoms, and that being respectful towards her parents wasn't a big deal anymore. Olivia sighed, realizing these were the years she had been dreading once she found out she was having a girl all those years ago, and had no idea how she would deal with it.

Olivia hadn't really been given the best example on how to parent a child growing up. The only memories of her mother revolved around her issues with alcohol, and anger towards Olivia for being nothing but a reminder of what her father had done to her. She was a product of rape, and her mother had made sure to not let her forget that. She had spent a majority of her childhood being a caregiver to her own mother, cleaning up her messes and making sure she didn't injure herself every time some crazy idea came to mind in her drunken state.

What had happened this morning in the kitchen had left a bad taste in Olivia's mouth. Her own childhood and teenage years coming to bite back at her. She had left home as soon as she had gotten accepted into Hudson, she had tried her best to put it entirely behind her. But now the memories were starting to come back. Her mother begging her not to leave, promising that she would get better, and Olivia packing her bags and never looking back. And that's what she had been terrified of when it came to Corinna.

She didn't want Corinna running away from her like she did to her mother. Whether that meant literally or figuratively, she couldn't stand losing her- especially at this age.

"Corinna.." Olivia knocked on her door before entering. "You know we need to have a talk.." she sat on the queen sized white canopy bed across from Corinna.

"I know and I'm sorry mom. I was just so angry. You guys never let me do anything!"

"Baby you're 16. You're asking us for hundreds of dollars every week, saying you're one place when you're out at a party, breaking curfew..Corinna I've had enough. From now on it's school and straight home. No cellphone, no more shopping, no friends over," Olivia reached to grab the rose gold phone from her nightstand.

"This is bullshit."

"Excuse me? Corinna you're being a little shit and it needs to stop now!" this wasn't like her to act like this and Olivia didn't know what to do at this point. She pushed herself off of the bed and went to go finish dinner. It was her last resort but she knew the only person who could talk some sense in their daughter at this point was her father.

"Mama, does baby brother love me?" Pia sat at the kitchen counter with her mother, helping her add veggies to the salad.

"Oh of course he does. He hears your beautiful voice everyday when you sing to him and I know he loves it because he kicks mommy so much!" she kissed her temple and twisted her curly ponytail around her finger before letting it go. "Why baby?"

"I don't think Coco loves me anymore," she grabbed the small pile of cucumbers her mother chopped and placed them in the salad bowl.

"Coco loves you so _so_ much! She's just a little upset with me and daddy," she sighed and continued cutting.

"Why? You're the best mommy and daddy in the whole widest world!" she pouted slightly, disappointed in her older sister.

"Don't worry your pretty little head," she leaned over and kissed her temple. "Pia come here!" she gasped and pulled her small hand over to her swell. "You feel that?" Pia began to giggle when she felt the movements over her baby brother pouncing under her palm.

"He's kicking me mommy!" she smiled bright with her hazel eyes and pulled back quickly. "Daddy!" she quickly turned her attention to her father who had just walked through the garage door.

"Oh I missed my big girl today!" he scooped her from the chair she sat in and covered her face in kisses. "And I missed you," he leaned over and kissed Olivia lovingly.

"Dinners almost ready," she pulled him in for another kiss, realizing just how she had missed him too today.

"Pia why don't you go tell Coco to go wash up?"

"You okay?" she said noticing how much his mood changed once he sent Pia upstairs. Olivia rose from her seat to pull the dish she had baked from the oven.

"I uh-I checked the mail before I got in the house," he pulled an envelope from inside his suit jacket. Olivia grabbed it from his hands and had sworn she felt the world fall around her when she seen the sender's name:

Serena Benson

"I thought you told me your mother was dead?"

"She is to me," she forced the envelope back into his hands. "I don't want anything to do with whatever is written in this letter," she hadn't heard a word from her mother since she had left nearly twenty years ago. Serena hadn't made any effort to find Olivia since then, and she didn't see any reason for her to now. "Go change out of that suit. I'm gonna go set the table," she picked up the four white dinner plates and went into the dining room, dismissing their entire conversation.

"Olivia, you're not gonna explain this at all?" he followed closely behind her. Elliot knew she wasn't one to push but a matter like this- her mother suddenly rising from the dead, he needed answers.

"You wanna know what happened?" she stood on the other side of the dinner table, a few tendrils of hair framing her face. "My father raped my mother and she turned into a drunken mess. She blamed me everyday for the reason she was so miserable. Serena made my life hell Elliot, and once I turned 18 I left- no I ran. I ran as far as a could from that house. She's a monster.." she flicked the tear that escaped and continued to set the plates. "Now will you please go?" she focused on looking down, avoiding eye contact with him.

He sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. Normally he would let her have her way and just leave her be. But this wasn't something he could just let go of. Olivia had told him her mother had died soon after she left for college, and her dad hadn't ever been in the picture. And to think that her mother had been alive this entire time..that her father was a rapist..it just couldn't be.

 **I really don't know why I started a new story when I've got two I can barely keep up with lmao. But I've had this idea to do a story with Serena being around. This is definitely an AU**


	2. Open Letter

**Stabler Resident**

 **Thursday, September 5**

 **9:41 pm**

Dinner had been relatively quiet after the argument about the mystery letter sent from Serena. Corinna had still been upset with her parents over her newly enforced punishment, and Olivia had been overwhelmed with the decision to either try to bury this again or accept her mother's attempt to reach out after so long. Pia had been the most talkative, wanting to make sure her she covered every detail of her first day of kindergarten.

Once dinner had been finished and both kids were in bed, Elliot figured it was as good a time as ever to try and speak to Olivia about what had happened earlier. As much as he understood how the sudden return of her mother upset her, he needed answers. It was almost like he didn't know Olivia at all. When they had first met in college, Olivia had told him her mother had died her freshman year and that was the end of it. But now..for her to admit her mother was in fact alive? That she was product of rape?

As tragic as her childhood had sounded, he just didn't understand how she could pretend her mother was dead.

Elliot waited in bed for Olivia to finish her shower and night routine, hoping that he'd given her enough time to gather her thoughts before he brought up her mother again. She had barely said two words to him for the rest of the night, obviously upset, and she had every right to be. But they both knew more than anyone that the truth eventually comes to light, and it had come time for her to face it.

"Olivia, we need to talk about this," he spoke up once she had gotten settled into bed.

"El please, I'm so tired," she tried her best to dismiss him by turning off the light on her nightstand, and laying on her side to fall asleep but it was no good.

"So what am I supposed to do with this? Huh? Suddenly your mom is _not_ dead after all these years, and I'm supposed to just accept that?" he had switched the light on his side of the bed on, and sat up leaning against the headboard.

"It's not that easy to talk about Elliot," she sat up next to him, trying her best to resist from letting any tears fall. Her throat had felt tight and her heart had been racing. She had tried so hard to put her past behind her and chase after a new life, but her past was catching up to her instead.

"I don't expect for you to tell me everything tonight, but I'd like to know what happened one day soon-why you ran away.. For now I think you should read whatever is in this envelope, because there must be a reason she's decided to reach out after twenty years," he reached inside of the drawer of his nightstand and handed the envelope over to her. She took it reluctantly and toyed with it between her hands, while biting on her bottom lip trying to decide what to do. Olivia understood where Elliot had been coming from. She owed him an explanation- and soon.

"I promise you one day I'll tell you everything there is to know, it's just I can't do that for you right now," she paused to take a deep breath and wipe away the few tears that had fallen. "El, you know I love you more than life itself and I wouldn't keep anything from you unless it was for a good reason. Y-You know that right?" she cried and looked over at him. Not even the darkness that surrounded them could hide the worried look in her eyes.

"Baby don't cry," he pulled her close to him, and laid down with her across his chest, the swell of her stomach bumping into his hip.

"I'm so _so_ sorry. We promised not to keep things from one another and I did. If you're mad at me-"

"No no, I'm not mad, not one bit," he kissed the top of her head and ran his hand along her back.

"But I lied," her voice cracked as she tried to gather herself.

"You did what was best _for you._ Baby I get that, and whatever you decide to do I will be here every step of the way," he moved his hand down to her belly, feeling the kicks and jabs of their baby boy. "Meanwhile, he's having a party in there," Elliot tried his best to lighten the mood by changing the subject. There was nothing he hated more than to see her cry.

"He loves his daddy's voice," she managed to give him a small smile, noticing his effort to change the subject. "I'll read this tomorrow when I get some time alone. I love you," she leaned up to kiss him goodnight and pulled the covers up, snuggling as close as she could to him.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Friday, September 6**

 **10:05 am**

Olivia had gotten back from dropping Corinna and Pia off at school, and was left at home alone with only her and that damn letter from her mother. It was upstairs in her nightstand and it was all she could think about once she had set foot into the silent house. She went upstairs and grabbed it before she went out on the patio to enjoy a cup of hot tea. Fall had barely set in, the weather still proving to be fairly warm. She sat for what felt like an eternity holding the letter in her fingers before she tore it open.

She had thought about it long and hard since she had woken up this morning, and decided that the sooner she dealt with this the better. As soon as she opened it a rush of emotions had taken over her body when she seen her mother's handwriting. It had been so long since she'd seen it and for once a sense of nostalgia had taken over her. There were only a few things she managed to love about her mother, and her penmanship had been one of them. Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath before reading through the letter.

 _Olivia,_

 _It's been nearly twenty years since I heard the sound of your sweet voice, or seen your beautiful face and I just can't believe I let the years just pass me by without trying to fix things with you. I miss you terribly, and I hope you understand when I say that I have been spending the last two decades getting the help that I know I should have gotten long ago. It kills me to know that the last time I seen you is a memory filled with so much pain and regret. I realize that I was not the best mother to you during your childhood, and I swear if I could do it all over again I would._

 _I haven't placed my lips on a bottle in almost three years, and I finally feel strong enough to reach out to you. I know the damage has been done for years now, but I am hoping and praying that you'll take my invitation and give me a call sometime soon. I want to work towards forgiveness and a fresh start if you don't think it is too late._

 _No matter what I will love you with all of my heart,_

 _Serena_

Every word had been her undoing, the tears had been nonstop and her breathing had been erratic. Suddenly she felt everything again, flashbacks of her childhood flooding her mind-some bad and a few good. Olivia couldn't pinpoint exactly how she had felt and it was frustrating. One part of her wanted to give her mother a call, already imagining how her mother would react when she found out she had two soon to be three grandchildren. Yet, the other part of her wanted to shred this letter and try her best to forget- like she always did.

"Baby?" she heard Elliot's voice from outside and was startled to see that he had come home so early. She figured it was no use in trying to hide the fact that she was crying, she knew he was home early because he knew she wasn't doing too well anyway.

"I'm out here!" she yelled and cleared her throat. Once he had come out on the patio and seen her tear stained face, Elliot rushed over to the chaise she laid across to console her.

"I'm guessing you read the letter?" he spoke softly while he sat next to her and pulled Olivia close to him. Elliot had been worried about her since their talk the night before, and knew that trying to get through an entire work day would be nearly impossible. So, he rushed home after working half of a day, stopping by her favorite bakery on the way home.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did," she smiled small and ran her fingers over his chest. "You can read it too if you want," she reached next to her and handed over the letter. He took it cautiously before reading over it for himself and sighing deeply.

"What are you going to do?" he absentmindedly ran his hand along her belly, smoothing out the oversized band tee she wore.

"I think- I think I want to give her a call. Maybe see if she'll meet me for lunch," she used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the few tears that ran down her face.

"Well based off of this, it sounds like she'll love that. And at least if you do this you'll be able to decide if having a relationship with her is something you want," Elliot placed his lips to her temple and caressed the side of her face. It had killed him to see her like this- so _vulnerable._

"I guess you're right," she looked up at him before capturing his lips for a passionate kiss. Olivia would normally be upset with him for being so gentle with her, and treating her like she was fragile. But today she needed him more than ever and had never been more happy to be tucked into his embrace.

"Did you come home early because of me?" she pulled away from him and ran her fingers through his cropped hair.

"Maybe," he smirked. "I worry so much about you, you know that," he tugged on her chin to kiss her again. She moaned when she felt his tongue invade her mouth, and rolled over to straddle him never once breaking their heated kiss. Olivia had been buried deeply in a mix of emotions, and just needed to grasp onto something that was familiar- that made her body burn with desire and not the pain she had been feeling the past 24 hours.

"As long as I have _this_ to come back to every time I feel like I'm falling, you won't need to worry," she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook, his signature smell filled her nostrils. He ran his hands along her back and rested them on her hips.

"How about we go enjoy lunch together and the treat I got you from the bakery?" she lifted her head to look at him and smiled so wide crinkles around her eyes appeared. It was his favorite.

"You went out and got me-"

"An apple strudel? Yeah, I did. I got you a few," as much as her hormones were pleading with her to finish what they had started, her cravings had said otherwise.

"I've never loved being pregnant more," she smirked and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Come on, let me cook you something to eat," he chuckled and helped her get to her feet before following her through the double glass doors and into the kitchen.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Friday, September 6**

 **1:19 pm**

After eating lunch and taking a short lived nap, Olivia had decided to give her mother a call. Elliot had offered to be in the room with her for moral support, but she knew this was something she needed to face on her own. She sat on the balcony to their bedroom and took a deep breath before dialing the number Serena left at the bottom of the page. It had only rang a few times before the line picked up.

"Hello?" the moment she heard her mother's voice on the other end of the line, Olivia had to cover her mouth to try and muffle her cries. "Hello?" she repeated again.

"Mother," Olivia tried her best to hold back anymore tears, but her voice had failed her.

"Olivia?"

 **IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER**


	3. Sober

**Cont..**

"Olivia?"

"Yes..I-It's me," there was another brief pause but on Serena's end of the line this time. Olivia had heard what she thought was her mother crying.

"It's so good to hear your voice, you know that?" Olivia sighed deeply, not quite sure how to respond. The tears and sincerity in her mother's voice had been unexpected, and left her stunned.

"Why did you write me mother? Why did you wait so long?" it was almost as if the words had just sprung out of her mouth. Making the phone call had already been hard enough, and she didn't feel like forcing herself to sit through endless conversation. Olivia had felt like she was in such a vulnerable position, and was afraid she'd lose sight of the point in calling her.

"There's been countless times I had picked up a pen and began writing, but halfway through I had convinced myself the last thing you needed was me trying to come back into your life. But last week..last week something changed. Olivia, I just can't bare to spend another twenty years not having my daughter in my life.." Olivia stood from where she sat and paced in the small space, looking over their backyard.

"Was everything you wrote true? Are you sober..for good?"

"I am... When you left..it took me some time but I knew if I ever wanted to see you again I had to get healthy again. I know I won't be able to _ever_ make up for the hell I put you through, but if you'd let me, I'd like to try."

"I don't really know what to say.."

"Please have lunch with me..I need to see you at least once. I need to see that you're doing okay- that you're doing better," Olivia couldn't help the tears that were falling rapidly down her face. She had been so angry with her mother since the day she left, and she suddenly she had felt so differently. Moments ago she thought she had her mind made up. Olivia didn't even want to consider seeing her mother, but now..hearing her voice for the first time in what felt like forever brought back feelings for her mother that Olivia didn't think she had.

"How does um, how does tomorrow sound?" she offered reluctantly, knowing that she had been acting on emotions.

"I would love that," Serena's voice had been shaky, her muffled cries reaching through the phone. "You text me a time and a place and I will be there."

"Good night mother," and like that she had hung up. Olivia had felt like her thoughts and emotions were suffocating her. She leaned over the banister of the balcony, resting her forearms on it while she inhaled and exhaled deep breathes.

"Babe, you okay?" Elliot had come upstairs to check on her and had gone into a slight panic when he'd seen her like that.

"I'm fine, I'm fine I promise," she heard his footsteps stop behind her and she stood to turn and embrace him, burying her face in his chest. He had pulled her closer when he felt her tears hit the fabric of his shirt.

"Then why are you crying?" he said softly and pulled away from her, cupping the sides of her face when he did and used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "Talk to me.."

"I don't know. Hormones, my mom, a little bit of everything," she let out a sigh and managed to laugh a little. "I agreed to have lunch with her tomorrow, and I can already feel a small part of me getting my hopes up- I mean that's my mom. She always will be you know?"

"It's okay to _want_ to see her. Forgiveness will come one day, but for now I think you should just let this be," he kissed her forehead, and took her in his arms once more before grabbing her hand and guiding her back inside. "How about we grab Pia from school a little early and take her out for some frozen yogurt before Corinna gets out?" he knew spending some extra with their baby girl would cheer her up a bit. There wasn't anything he hated more than seeing her like this and not really being able to do anything to help. Her issues with her mother was something she had to deal with on her own, but he wished he could he deal with this for her.

"I think I'd love that a lot actually," she leaned up and pecked the corner of his mouth. "Let me change into something that actually fits, and I'll meet you downstairs."

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Saturday, September 7**

 **11:03 am**

Olivia sat at her vanity putting the finishing touches on her makeup for lunch this afternoon. She glanced over at her phone, seeing a notification from Serena, confirming their lunch plans today at noon. It was odd already for her. Just seeing a text from her mother.

Last night she had been restless. Her mind had been racing at a million miles a minute, thinking about this meeting with her mother. The last time she had seen her, Olivia was barely an adult, only just turning 18 once she left for school. And now she was married and pregnant with her third child, living in a six bedroom house, and her only worry being what she would be making for dinner that night. Her life had done a complete 360 and she was worried that bringing her mother into her life would change all of that for the worse.

"Mama, where are you goin?" Pia had come into the room, still wearing her footed pajamas. She had come across to her vanity and stood next to Olivia, watching her apply her makeup.

"I'm going to have lunch with a friend. I'll only be gone for a little bit," she added the last part noticing the slight frown that came across her face when she heard her mother was leaving. "I promise when we get back we can make those cookies we talked about last night," she cupped the sides of her small face and kissed her button nose, earning a smile from her.

"You look pretty mama. You don't need anymore makeup," Pia commented when Olivia went back to applying mascara.

"She's right. You look good baby," Elliot appeared at the door smiling from ear to ear. He came over and joined them at the vanity, leaning down to kiss her and scooped up Pia into his arms. "Why don't you go pick out something to wear and we can go to park?" Elliot kissed Pia's forehead and sent her off down the hall to her room.

"I should get going soon," she applied a thin layer of lip gloss and stood to go find a pair of shoes. "El, honey, will you help me?" she handed the nude single strap heels she picked over to him. He motioned for her to sit on the end of the bed, and helped her put on each one.

"If you need me for anything today, please call me Liv," he reached up and threaded his fingers through her hair. Elliot was trying to give her the space he knew she required, but it was killing him .

"I will," she grabbed his hand and kissed the palm of it before stealing a kiss from him. "Make sure Corinna does _not_ leave the house today, she's still grounded. I'll call you later. I love you."

 **Blue Hill Restaurant**

 **Saturday, September 7**

 **11:58 am**

Olivia had already gotten a text message from her mother letting her know that she was already at the restaurant, and had picked a table on the patio. She sat in her car for a few moments trying to gather her emotions, and remembering to take this all _very_ slowly. Before she stepped out of the car she had gotten a text from Elliot, reminding her to do the same and that he was in her corner no matter decision she made.

 _God she loved this man._

Olivia really didn't think she would have been able to do this without him there by her side.

She thought she would have a hard time finding her mother, but she knew it was her the moment her eyes scanned the room and seen the older brunette sitting in the corner. Olivia walked cautiously over, taking deep breaths and trying her best to gather her thoughts before she got to the table.

"Olivia Margaret Benson.." Serena stood in the slacks and blouse she wore and reached out to embrace Olivia.

"I haven't heard that name in years," she chuckled and welcomed her mother's embrace. Somehow her mother still looked exactly the same to her, she even smelled the same. Sure- she had a few wrinkles from the years of battling sobriety, but she kept her hair a dark brown and managed to age better than expected. "It's Stabler now," she took a seat across from her mother and couldn't help but stare at the figure sitting in front of her.

"Married _and_ expecting a baby? I never thought I'd see the day," Serena had been smiling so hard the crinkles around her eyes had formed. There was a silence that fell over them, and Olivia wasn't entirely sure how to go about this. She had to admit..it was nice having her mother her in the flesh, but she knew the entire reason they were here was talk about the past. The entire reason they hadn't seen each other in twenty years. The same past that Olivia had tried to put behind her, because it had only brought back painful memories of her childhood.

She sighed deeply and the smile that was once on her mother's face had disappeared, realizing that the time had come to finally hash this out. "You know we need to talk.."

"I know Olivia. I know.." Serena's voice had broken. She folded her hands on the table and fiddled with the ring on her right hand. The waiter had come over to take the orders, each of them thankful for the interruption. Suddenly Olivia felt nauseous, wishing she could take this all back. It was nice to feel like they had a "normal" relationship for those few moments, but she knew they were far from having that anytime soon.

"Olivia, I want to apologize for _everything._ For being a terrible mother to you, for blaming you everyday for my own problems..I sit and think about all of the horrific things I had done to you, and I just can't.." she wiped the few tears that fell down her face and tried her best to hold the rest back. Her hazel eyes were glossy and avoided looking in Olivia's direction while she attempted to gather herself.

"I don't...need for you to apologize for every single thing- I'm not gonna lie. When I decided to come here I wanted to yell at you, tell you everything you did wrong but it's just not worth it. There's no hiding how fuckeed up my childhood was, and trust me I tried to for the past twenty years. Hell, I told people you were dead. But something has changed and I don't know what exactly but it has. I'm willing to give you a second chance. You've obviously worked hard to get where you are, and your grandkids deserve a _sober_ grandmother. It's not fair for me to keep that from you because of the mistakes you made so long ago," she reached over and gave her hand a small squeeze, unable to stop the tears that had escaped.

"You told people I was dead?"

"Yeah well, when your mother was a drunk for most of your life and used you as a punching bag from time to time-" she paused when she seen the jarred look on her mother's face. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"No, I uh- I guess I deserve that," Serena gave her a small sad smile.

"No no, we're here to move on or at least try to," Olivia felt guilty. Seeing her mother in a sober state, truly trying to work on their relationship, she didn't think it was right of her to throw everything she did back in her face.

"So you said grandkids? You have more kids?" Olivia was thankful for the swift change in the subject.

"I do," she gave her a small smile. "And I want you in their lives, I really do. But you have to promise me that you'll continue to work on your sobriety. Because one mess up and I swear that's it mother," this was something she had thought about long and hard last night, and had decided that it was time to let all of this go. She had to see for herself that Serena was committed to being sober, and seeing her today was proof that her mother was truly working towards a better life for herself.

"I promise you, nothing but the truth," she laid her other hand over Olivia's and rubbed the back of it with her thumb. Their food had come moments later and both of them sat in silence as they picked at their food. Olivia felt like the weight of her past had been lifted, not entirely but enough.

"Can I ask you about your life? The kids?" Serena spoke up nervously, but managed to give Olivia a hint of a smile. "I'm just still in shock that you've got your own family. I'm so proud of you Olivia."

"Well you might be even more shocked to hear I have a sixteen year old at home," she took a sip from her water.

"Sixteen? God Olivia, you were just a baby when you had your first," Serena shook her head in disbelief. Olivia could see her mind was racing, turning this into something it wasn't.

"Geez mother, I was 22."

"But so young..I can only imagine your face when you found out you were pregnant."

"Nearly shit myself, that's for sure. But Elliot proved to be the most amazing father. He finished school and runs his own business now," she ran her hand on the underside of her belly, feeling their baby boy move about.

"And you?"

"When Corinna was born I had every intention of going to school, but before I knew it she had grown up and I was pregnant with Pia."

"Oh that's alright. I bet you're an amazing mother," Serena beamed. She was proud to hear she hasn't screwed Olivia entirely up.

They had spent the last thirty minutes catching up, with a few pause here and there- neither of them knowing really what to say. Olivia knew their relationship wouldn't be fixed in one sitting, but she was happy to see Serena in a sober state and willingness to try and mend their relationship.

She loved that Serena understood that she needed time more than anything to process this new relationship between them. Olivia wanted Serena to meet the kids and Elliot, but it was hard for her still to trust her mother. The last thing she needed was for the kids, especially Pia, to get attached and her mother screw up. Before she left, Serena had hugged her as tightly as her swell would allow, and kissed her cheek, promising that she would give her all in this.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Saturday, September 7**

 **9:17 pm**

When Olivia had gotten home around 3 that afternoon, she had been exhausted and napped well through dinner. Barely waking up in time to put Pia to bed. She didn't remember being this tired all of the time with her last two pregnancies, but was happy that it was her only problem so far with this one. After giving Pia a bath and reading her a bedtime story, Elliot had shooed Olivia off- making her get back into bed and served her dinner in their room.

"I can't believe you cooked dinner tonight, _and_ it actually tastes good," she blew on the turkey soup he had made, sitting with her legs crisscrossing.

"I can make more than a bowl of cereal you know?" she laughed and stole a kiss from him.

"You're so good to me," he pulled her chin closer and kissed her sweetly.

"I'm assuming everything went okay with your mother?" she finished her last spoonful of soup and sat the bowl on the nightstand.

"It went great actually. There was a little bit of tension in the beginning, but we both agreed to try and work towards a relationship with each other," she managed to give him a small smile with a few tears welling in her eyes. "I'm just so happy to see her sober, El. She's a completely different person. I never thought I'd see the day," Elliot had been worried sick about her all day, and when she came home too tired to talk he had thought maybe it hadn't gone well at all. But to see Olivia crying because she was so elated to see her mother healthy, set his mind at ease.

"Just think, none of this would have happened if you hadn't gotten me to read that letter."

"Yeah, but you made the decision to meet with her; you gave her a second chance," he pulled her close to him. She threw her leg over his and rested her head on his chest.

"I guess so," she sighed contently. "I told her it'll take some time before she gets to meet you and the kids. She was disappointed, I could see it but.."

"You just want to be cautious.."

"Yeah. Just thinking about you meeting her terrifies me."

"Why's that?" he looked down at her, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I don't know. I guess a small part of me is scared that she'll hurt you and the kids some how and some way, just like she hurt me," he caught the last few tears that managed to slip with his thumb.

"Will she make some mistakes? Probably. But that's why I think you're doing the right thing by listening to your gut, and taking this slow. I mean it when I say I'm in your corner..no matter what," each time he said that it made her heart feel more secure, and he knew it. Olivia was a strong person, there was no doubt about that. However, Elliot knew just by her reaction the first time he brought up Serena, that her mother was a touchy subject.

"I love you _so so_ much."

"I love you too, _every single part_ ," he kissed her forehead, the top of her nose, and finally her lips.

"Let's go to bed," Olivia managed to breathe out between kisses. She laughed lightly when he pulled away, and tugged on his shirt to bring him close again. "No, I meant _bed_ bed," she smirked when she seen the look of shock on his face. Everything had seemed to be spinning in different directions lately, and she needed his touch to bring her a sense of familiarity.


	4. Old Habits

**Stabler Residence**

 **Friday, October 3**

 **6:47 pm**

"Maybe we should just cancel?" Olivia watches Elliot from the doorway of the bathroom while he finished shaving his face.

Today they were having dinner with Serena, and Elliot would be meeting her for the first time. He'd only seen one picture of her that Olivia reluctantly revealed to him from when she was just a little girl, and he still barely knew anything about her. Those bits of her childhood she revealed to him a month ago was the last time she really spoke about Serena, but he understood. Olivia and Serena had been meeting for lunch or a late breakfast frequently since their first encounter, taking baby steps towards getting to know each other really all over again.

"And why is that?" he pauses to look at her in the mirror before returning to dragging the razor along his neck.

"I don't know…I'm just so nervous," she walks over to him and tries lifting herself onto the counter next to him. He chuckles and helps her up, earning a kiss to his nose.

"Everything will be okay. You said she's sober, she's got a clear mind. Things are going to be different," he wipes his face with a warm towel. Olivia reaches over and grabs his after shave, pouring it into her hand and massaging it into his face for him. Once she finishes, he takes a hold of her knees and pulls her closer to the edge of the counter, standing between her legs. His hands rested on her thighs and she grips her hands on his hips where his sweats hang low from.

"If you don't want to do this tonight, we don't have to," he says softly, running the pads of his thumbs along her bare thigh. Her eyes are glossy and he can tell she is trying her best not to let the tears that threaten to fall and escape from where they brimmed at her lashes.

"No no, this needs to happen," she shakes her head and bites down on her bottom lip, her mind obviously in deep thought. Two worlds that she had tried so hard to keep apart are suddenly colliding. " _Jesus christ_ ," she scoffs and slaps her hands on her thighs. Elliot was right. Her mother wasn't a drunken mess rambling on about how miserable Olivia made her. Things were different now. They were becoming close to obtaining a "normal" mother-daughter relationship, and still was in denial.

"Relax," he pulls her body even closer to his, enveloping her in his arms and she buries her face in the crook of his neck. He'd never seen her so nervous and terrified at the same time, and gives her a reassuring kiss to her forehead when he pulled back. "We'll have a quick dinner and once we get back home I'll run you a hot bath, massage your back.." his voice drops a few octaves, and begins to place light kisses to her jawline. Another effort to coax her body to soften. It works.

"Promise me one thing," he pauses and looks down at her. "You'll join me for that bath," they both share a laugh and he steals a kiss from her.

"There's my girl."

 **Per Se Restaurant**

 **Friday, October 3**

 **7:58 pm**

Twenty torturous minutes had gone by. Twenty minutes for Olivia to immerse her mind in her self destructing thoughts that were screaming at her to tell Elliot to turn the car around. Olivia knew Serena had changed dramatically over the past 20 years, but the fear of her mother completely ruining things still haunted the back of her mind. When they pull into the parking lot of the restaurant, Elliot pulls Olivia's hand and laces his fingers between hers, placing a kiss to the back of it. He gives her a few extra seconds before going to the other side of the jeep wrangler and assisting her in getting out of the suv. His arm wraps itself around her waist, giving her emotional and physical support as they make their way into the restaurant.

There she is.

For a moment it had felt like she was seeing Serena for the first time again like she had a month ago. Because a month ago she had been meeting her as _Serena._ And now she was meeting her as her mother that was now in her life and meeting the man who she's been in love with for what felt like her entire life- her husband.

They approach the small square table where Serena sat at in the middle of the dining area, and Elliot can't believe the woman he's seeing staring directly back at him. Olivia hugs her mother briefly and stands next to her, waiting a beat before introducing her to Elliot. He reaches to shake her hand but she pulls him in for a hug. When he pulls back and sees his wife standing next to her, he's in shock and awe at how much Olivia resembles her mother- and then he thinks about how much their youngest, Pia, looks like her _grandmother_ too.

"So this is the man who's been taking such good care of my daughter," Serena takes a seat next to Olivia and reaches across the table to give Elliot's hand a light squeeze.

"I try to," he grins and rests his arm on the back of Olivia's chair, loosely wrapping pieces of her hair around his fingers. There's a pause that follows after. Each of them debating on what to say next, what not to say next..

"So tell me..how did you two meet?"

"Well," Elliot starts and looks over at Olivia. A smile breaks on both of their faces and they can't help the laughter they share when they do.

"We met at a party..a halloween party to be exact-"

"I remember Liv had on, what was it? A naughty schoolgirl costume?"

"Oh god, don't remind me," she hides her face in her hands. Serena laughs and nudges Olivia playfully. "It was Andrea's idea that we all stuck to the tradition of dressing up as something 'naughty'. I still can't believe I went along with it."

"Who's Andrea?" Serena asks before taking a sip of her water.

"The first friend I made in college. I'm sure you'll meet her soon at the baby shower- I mean if that's something you even want to come to," Olivia bites her bottom lip and shrugs her shoulder, still treading lightly on where they stand.

"Of course I do," Serena reaches and gives her hand a squeeze. "I'm starting to realize there's so much I don't know about you," there's a shift in Serena's mood and that pang of guilt looms over them both. Elliot watches this exchange, wishing he had known about Serena sooner. Maybe he could have prevent a 20 year separation between the two.

"Well we have all of the time in the world to get to know one another again. Don't worry, soon enough we'll be bickering just like mother's and daughters do," she looks at her mother and much like her, she's trying to keep her tears at bay. There was never a time in her life where she imagined them being like this. And she was praying each and everyday that her mother was here to stay.

"Enough of that," Serena swipes the few tears that managed to fall and goes to grab her menu. "What's good here?"

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Saturday, November 8**

 **1:22 pm**

She doesn't know why she's emotional, yet again today but here she is- on the verge of tears for what felt like the hundredth time today.

Today was Olivia's third and last baby shower, and she was beginning to realize this was it for her and Elliot. They were having their last baby, and something about that statement made her teary eyed. Not only that but her mother would be there for this one. She remembered when she was pregnant with Corinna. She didn't have a clue what the hell she was doing, and how much she begged for her mother during the delivery. Which made her laugh after the fact. She had tried her best to rid herself of her and somehow always found herself aching for Serena; for her mother.

"Your friends are all downstairs, why aren't you enjoying your shower?" Elliot had searched the entire house for her and smiled when he found her looking through the double glass doors to their balcony.

"It's my mom, she's not answering her phone.."

"The party started not even 30 minutes ago. Maybe she underestimated how long the drive would take up here," he placed his hand on her lower back, rubbing his thumb along the silk fabric that covered her skin.

"Yeah maybe.." she sighs. Today was important to her. Serena was going to meet her best friends, a few of Elliot's siblings, and more importantly Pia and Corinna. She just didn't want to believe her mother was bailing on her already.

"She loves you so much and trying Liv, you know that. So she wouldn't miss this unless it was something serious."

"You don't know her. She does, well did, things like this all of the time. She promises she's better and wants to do better then does something exactly like this," she shook her head and sighed deeply. "I can see nothings changed."

"Hey," Elliot reached over and threaded the tips of his fingers through her hair, gently tilting her head up to his. "Don't think like that. I seen the way she looks at you Olivia. There was nothing but love in her eyes each time she looked at you, the way she watched you, wanted to know small detail about you. Who ever you remember her as before you have got to let go of and let this new Serena in. She may stumble a few times, like today. But just try to keep in mind that she's trying to maintain a relationship with you and also keep ahold of her sobriety," she looked deep into his blue irises that reflected nothing but love back at her. She knew he was just being honest with her, which is what she needed these days; honesty. Instead of biting back like she normally does, she goes for the latter and nods- agreeing with him for once. She raises the slightest on her toes and kisses him briefly before they're interrupted but no one else but their littlest one for now, Pia.

"MAMA AUNT ANDREA IS HERE WITH THE PUPPY!" the small child came barreling into her parents and Elliot caught her and scooped her up before she could run into her mother. "Can we get a puppy too?" she wrapped one arm around her mother's neck and the other around her father's, bringing the two closer.

"You're getting a little brother soon, which is way cooler than a puppy," Olivia tried to sound upbeat. Hoping the talk about a puppy wouldn't become a thing for her to obsess over.

"No way! My friend Zoey says that baby brothers are stinky and they cry _all_ the time!"

"But you'll be around to keep him happy with your singing. Baby brother loves that remember? He kicks mommy every time you sing to him," the hazel eyed girl looked up to the ceiling, thinking over what her mother had just said.

"You promise he won't be so bad?'

"I promise," both Elliot and Olivia said in unison.

" _Okay_ but I _still_ want a puppy," she did her best game of not letting up easy and wiggled from her father's arms. "Whenever you get here maybe we can both get mommy and daddy to get us a puppy!" she whispered not so quietly to Olivia's belly and galloped her way back downstairs to the party.

"I swear sometimes I don't know whose child she is," Olivia rolled her eyes and smoothed out the cream satin dress she wore that flowed all the way down to the floor. "Let's get downstairs before she gets carried away with anymore ideas."

"You okay?" he tugged her arm when she tried walking away.

"I will be," the corners of her mouth up turn and she gives him a small smile before grabbing his hand and leading him downstairs with her.

Her baby shower had come and gone without any signs of Serena. No calls or text- that is until she was just about ready for bed when she got a text from her mother, apologizing for not being able to make it. She had given her some lame excuse, one that Olivia couldn't see as being entirely true. She was raging, and was reminded of the same feelings she felt as a kid when her mother would do this to her all of the time. She had been so upset with her mother she was almost tempted to drive to Queens and give her mother a piece of her mind until Elliot stopped her.

She couldn't believe it.

It was more than Serena just simply showing up for the baby shower. This would be the moment she finally got to meet her grandkids and the other part of Olivia that she never got a chance to see over the past twenty years. Then she thought to herself- maybe she pushed too much? Maybe this was all happening much faster than Serena had anticipated and it triggered her sobriety?

"You want to talk about it?" Elliot croaked with sleep still evident in his voice when he felt his wife tossing and turning in bed for what felt like the hundredth time tonight.

"No.." she lifts herself out of bed and slips on the pair of house shoes that sit near her side of bed before getting up and grabbing the lavender robe hanging from the door. Elliot waits a few moments before following her to her one destination during this time of the night: the kitchen.

"Olivia.." Elliot chides as he watches her grab a pint of her favorite ice cream from the freezer and plop down on one of the bar stools at the island in the middle of their kitchen.

"You know and I know exactly what this is about so I don't know why you would think I want to keep talking about it," she didn't mean to sound so bitchy, but her hormones were raging and her annoyance with everything was at an all time high.

"Okay.." he stood behind her as she sat and placed both hands on her shoulders. She had always been stubborn like this, but he was growing tired of her shutting him out this weekend. "Are you at least going to talk to your mom about why exactly she couldn't make it today?" he treaded lightly knowing that if he pushed too hard she would completely shut down on him. Neither of their childhoods had been the greatest, but all in all he barely knew anything about hers. He didn't know her mother was an alcoholic and that Olivia was a product of rape until a few months. He had no idea how to handle her now it felt like. Different sides of her had peeked since finding out about her mother, and he had sworn that at times he could see the same terrified and anxious little girl she once was before.

"I tried to but you stopped me," she scoffed.

"I stopped you because you were going over there full of rage. You were angry, which you have every right to be but- how about we go over there tomorrow when you've had some time to think," he was saying a prayer in his head now, hoping that Serena had had a hell of a good reason for _really_ not showing up today.

"We'll go after I drop the girls off at school," she turned her head slightly to look at him. "No promises that there will be any accepted apologies though," she shrugged as her mouth upturned sideways and went back to eating her latest craving. He ran his hands along her arms and kissed the top of her head, realizing that was the most he was going to get out of her tonight.

 **Are you ready for drama and angst because same. Also more frequent updates, ive abandoned this story**


	5. Mother Dearest

**Long time, no see**

 **Somewhere in Queens**

 **Monday, November 10**

 **9:47 am**

After seeing the kids off to school, both Elliot and Olivia had made the drive over to her mother's house in the hopes of getting more clear answers. As angry and upset as she was last night, Olivia was glad that she had slept on it. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't even the slightest bit upset still, but the rage had calmed and she was willing to hear her mother out this time around. She wanted a relationship with Serena more than anything right now, and had just prayed that her mother wasn't back on her bullshit like always.

They had pulled up to the small meadow yellow house that had been surrounded by a dark wood fence and an impeccable garden. Olivia assumed her mother's new found love for gardening was another coping mechanism for her sobriety. Like always, Elliot had helped her out of the jeep and walked by her side as they stepped over the patches of ice that had froze over last night due to the cold weather. She took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell and hearing the sounds of her mother's feet shuffling across the floor.

"Olivia.." Serena appeared in the doorway dressed in pajamas still. Guilt flooded her when she seen her daughter standing in front of her.

"Serena," Olivia said coldly and pushed past her into the house. Elliot hesitantly followed behind only nodding at Serena when he walked past.

"You have every right to be upset with me-"

"Yeah-yeah I do," Olivia scoffed. "I don't know what kind of sick joke you think this is, but walking into my life just to do this to me all over again...I won't put up with it anymore!" her voice rose and Elliot began running his hand along her back as he stood next to her, hoping to keep her calm.

"Olivia, I swear to you this was never my intention. I've just been-"

"What? Drunk on your ass again?" Olivia had every intention of coming over here calmly, but the sight of Serena had triggered those same feelings she had last night.

"No, I-"

"You what!"

"Let her get a word in," Elliot said delicately.

"I didn't want to tell you like this at all," Serena's voice cracked as she tried to get the words out. "Olivia, honey your mom is very sick," Olivia's eyebrows knit together unsure what her mother meant.

"Sick?"

"God I wanted to wait to tell you," she wrenched her hands together. "My doctor found a tumor a few months ago. It's stage 4 brain cancer," her face became soaked with tears.

"Cancer.." Olivia stood frozen in place, trying her best to process the information just thrown at her.

"They've given me 6 months."

"No," Olivia went to lean against the wall for support, Elliot grabbed her hand to help steady her.

"It's true my love and I am _so_ sorry," she cried into her hand in an attempted to muffle her sobs.

"Baby," Elliot called after Olivia as she started for the door.

"I-I have to go ," she charged forward and out of the house, noticing her surroundings beginning to go blurry from her tears. Olivia couldn't explain it but she needed to be alone in order to process this before she said another word. She was careful as she exited the house and crossed over the icy parts of the sidewalk.

Elliot looked solemnly at Serena and gave her a quick hug before running after Olivia, terrified of her slipping on the ice. He was stuck in the middle. He wanted for his wife to go back in there and make things right with her mother, to talk to her and get a better understanding of what was going on. But on the other hand he understood Olivia's reasons for walking away and needing to be alone for right now.

"Honey please wait," he slightly shouted as he raced to catch up with her. She stopped thankfully and waited on his assistance to the car, knowing that no matter how upset she got her health was first. "Let me help you to the car," there was silence between them as the few sounds surrounding the neighborhood echoed. He opened the truck door and helped her step up.

He gave her time to breathe and quietness on the 30 minute commute back home, figuring they could talk when they got home. When he pulled into the garage she was quick to try and get out the car, and headed into the house before he could help her. For a woman carrying an extra thirty pounds she moved quickly.

"Liv," he said her name as she stood in front of the patio doors, staring at the snow filled backyard. She was still in her puffy coat and ugg boots. Elliot on the other side of the kitchen watching her until he heard sniffles coming from her.

She was crying.

He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly when her legs gave out. She weeped and cried into his shoulder until she had nothing left to give. He stood there holding her with one hand pressed against her lower back, and the other held the back of her head. When her cries softened she lifted her head and used the sleeve of her coat to wipe her face as best she could. Olivia looked at Elliot with her reddened glossy eyes, and without saying a word he helped her out of her coat, hat, and boots before guiding her upstairs.

When they got into their master bedroom, he led her into their bathroom and began running hot water to start a bath. She sat on the edge of the tub watching as he poured her favorite bubble bath in, along with a few essential oils she kept around. He went over to dim the lights and began assisting her in stripping the layers of clothing she wore.

Elliot held her hand as she stepped into the tub and sat on the edge as she tried her best to relax and get comfortable.

"I finally reunite with my mother only for her to be taken away from me," she said barely above a whisper. Olivia sunk deeper into the water, running her hands over her belly. "I guess that's what I get for saying she was dead all these years, now she really will be in six months."

"Olivia, stop."

"It's true! And don't you dare say everything will be okay, because it won't be," she cried.

"Okay maybe it won't, but Serena being terminally ill is not karma for what you said. You were hurt, Olivia. You did your best to cope and move on from a traumatic childhood, and she understands that but this is not your fault," he chided her.

"And how dare she come back after all these years just to leave me! I tell her about my life, you, and the kids- her grandkids. God, the kids. What am I going to tell them? Your grandma is alive actually but guess what she really _is_ going to be dead in six months!" she was emotional, angry, and overall terrified. Elliot knew this was a sickly combination of rage and denial with the upsetting news, and realized he would have to be patient with her. Scolding her for being so crude would only make her shut him out, and he figured it was best that she take it out on him instead of Serena.

"And you know the worst part of all this? I was _finally_ prepared for her to be in my life. For us to have a real relationship," she paused and laughed sadly. "I had this stupid idea that maybe we could all go to the lake as a family next summer. You know.. Make new memories so the girls have something to look back on in their childhood."

"This hurts so goddamn much," she cried into her hands. Elliot moved closer to her, pulling her head into his lap. He ran his hand over the top of her head, trying his best to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry baby," it was all he could say that felt right. He knew his wife. She was headstrong and often handled her problems on her own, no matter how much help he offered. Olivia would do things her own way. "You know you need to talk to her.."

"I know- can you just give me some time alone?" she asked nicely.

"Of course," he kissed the top of her head and went downstairs to start boiling hot water for tea. Olivia wanted time alone, so he would give it to her.

When she heard he door to their bedroom close, she sighed deeply and tried her best to relax but it was no use. Olivia was so angry, but deep down she knew it wasn't because of her mother.

She was beginning to love her mother again and let her into her heart. Olivia was ready to build a new relationship with her, and excited for Corinna, Pia, and their baby boy to get to know Serena. But now she just felt betrayed by life.

She cried her last bit of tears that she had left to give before carefully stepping out of the tub, and going to change.

Hours had passed since her meltdown this morning, and Olivia finally felt ready to face the music. She checked her phone for the first time since this morning, and seen dozens of messages and missed calls from Serena. Elliot had left to pick Pia up from school, and she figured it was now or never.

She sat in the kitchen at the island waiting as the phone dialed out. Only three rings passed until Serena picked up, and she felt her heart drop.

"Hi honey," Serena answered. Olivia tried to speak but she couldn't get anything out. Her throat was tight from the sudden onset of tears, the only thing coming from her end of the line was the sound of her sniffles and breathing. Serena could sense that her daughter wasn't okay, and knew exactly what she needed to do.

"How about I come over and we have a little tea time? Does that sound good?" Olivia thought about it for a moment, realizing that her mother would more than likely run into Pia and Corinna.

"Yeah, I would like that very much," she cried.

"I'll be right over dear," the phone clicked and ended the call.

She sent a quick text to Elliot, asking him to pick Corinna up from school as well and stall to give her and Serena a bit more time together. In record time he replied, reassuring her he would do anything she needed for him to do. She changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater and went into the kitchen to cut a few pieces of cheese and salami to go with some crackers.

Not even 30 minutes later she heard the doorbell ring and found relief in seeing her mother. Without saying a word Serena enveloped Olivia in her arms and kissed the top of her head. The anger she felt washed away at the feel of being in her mother's arms. She knew from this moment on she needed to be the strong one, not only for her mother but also for herself.

"Oh mom," she cried.

"I know I know," Serena rubbed her back. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she cried.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you," Olivia pulled away and held both of Serena's hands in hers. "I'm so _so_ sorry," she kept repeating those words.

"Hey," Serena said softly. "I have had plenty of time to accept this, and I've decided the best thing for me to do for now is to continue living my best quality of life while I can," she pulled Olivia in one more time and embraced her tightly before letting go. "Promise me we'll make the best out of the time we have left?"

"I think I can try my best to do that," Olivia wiped her tear soaked face with the sleeve of her sweater. "Are you up for some tea?"

"Oh I'm always up for tea," she managed to smile. Olivia guided her mother into the family room where she set up the cheese, crackers, and tea for them to at least try to enjoy. She poured tea into the two small mugs before taking a seat next to Serena on the couch.

"C-Can I ask you a few questions?" Olivia sputtered. She couldn't explain why she was suddenly so nervous around her mother.

"Of course," Serena reached out to touch her hand and gave it a squeeze. "You can always ask me anything."

"I know you said your tumor is stage 4- that it's terminal but there _has_ to be something we can do. Something that we can try? Elliot's closest friend is one of the best surgeons in the city and I'm sure he knows someone who can help-"

"I know you want to try and I don't blame you, but Olivia, honey.. It's just one of those things. No doctor wants to operate on it because it's just too risky," she used the sleeve of her sweater to pat the few tears that fell down Olivia's face. "I start a higher dose of chemo next week. That's the most I can really do," Olivia sat staring at her mother, trying her best to accept what she just told her but she just couldn't.

"Let me at least take you to that."

"Olivia, this baby is gonna come any day now. You don't need to worry about me. The chemo hasn't slowed me down yet," she gave a small grin and took a sip from her tea. "Why don't we focus on something more positive?" Serena encouraged. "Where are Corinna and Pia?"

"Elliot is with them doing god knows what. I asked him to give us some alone time," she said truthfully.

"Oh," the disappointment in Serena's voice didn't go unnoticed.

"How about I call him?" the time was past due for Serena to meet her only grandkids, and Olivia figured now was as good a time as ever.

"I would love that."

 **I've never really written "sad" stories before, but I'm excited to. Let's say a prayer I'll keep up with my stories in 2018!1!**


	6. Emergency Delivery

**Cont…**

 **Later that night…**

"Did you have fun today, honey?" Olivia kneeled next to Pia's bed as she tucked her in for bed.

Pia and Corinna had met their grandmother for the first time today. It had gone a lot smoother than Olivia had anticipated, but there was still confusion left behind- especially for little Pia.

"I did! Grandma Serena said maybe next time she comes we can have a tea party!" Pia's hazel eyes brightened as she looked up at her mother.

"Oh that will be so much fun," she smoothed her curly brown hair, and kissed the top of her nose.

"Daddy!" Elliot had popped in to her room to kiss her good night like always.

"I came to tell my best girl good night," he leaned over her bed and kissed her forehead.

"Good night daddy," she held his head between her tiny hands and melted Olivia's heart.

"We love you. Have sweet dreams," Elliot reached turned on her night light and stood.

"Honey.." Olivia held her hand up for him to help her up.

He grabbed her hands and pulled her up gently. "Oh boy," she stood to her feet and ran pressed a hand to her lower back.

"What's wrong mommy?"

"Your little brother is kicking me really hard," she stood and took a few breaths as she rode out the Braxton hicks. "Whew, okay," she stood straight and bent to kiss Pia goodnight one more time before heading to the hallway. "I'm going to check on Corinna," she told Elliot and headed down the hallway.

She knocked before entering and smiled when she seen Corinna at her desk studying. "Hey baby," Olivia kissed the top of her head.

"Hey," she looked up from her notepad.

"I just wanted to check on you. Today was kind of...crazy," she turned her back to the desk and leaned on the edge.

"Yeah," her voice was soft. "It's just weird to go from thinking she was dead, to her sitting in our living room."

"I wish there was a way for me to give all those years back to you. I'm so sorry Corinna," Olivia reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. She was not only talking about her entire childhood lost, but about the limited amount of time she had left with her as well.

"Mom, please don't think I'm upset with you because I'm not," to her surprise Corinna stood and embraced her mother. "From the little bits and pieces of your childhood that you've told me about...listen, I get it. Serena, or grandma, put you through an unimaginable experience and you did what was easiest for you to cope," Olivia sat stunned at her daughter's words. Corinna had been troublesome the past few months, but she was happy to see this new level of maturity from her.

"Thank you for trying to understand," Olivia ran a hand through Corinna's straight light brown hair, and kissed her temple. "She told me she explained her illness to you. How does that make you feel?"

"Sad to say the least," she shrugged. Her eyes casted down and Olivia knew she was putting on a strong front for her. "And confused. I want to grow to love her while she's still here, but it's going to be so hard when she has less than a year you know?" her voice cracked. She looked up at her mother and her lip began to quiver as the tears approached.

"Oh come here honey," Olivia opened her arms to envelope her and she complied. Nothing hurt Olivia more than knowing her child was in pain, and having no power to prevent this from happening. "You listen to me. I don't expect you to try and be strong. It's okay to feel and to cry," she used the pad of her thumb to wipe the tears from Corinna's cheeks. "It's important to realize that the love you're searching for within this new relationship will come naturally with time. For now let's do our best to make the most of the time we have left with her," she squeezed her tight before letting go.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too baby," Corinna returned to sitting at her desk.

"Do you think I can have some time alone?"

"Of course. You know you can talk to me?"

"Yeah, I know," she smiled softly. Olivia kissed the top of her head before exiting her room and closing the door. She knew there was no point in pressuring her to talk, and figured it was best to give her the space she needed.

Olivia stood in the hallway for a moment and took a deep breath. Today had been the biggest whirlwind of her life and she honestly had no idea how she had still been standing. It was a lot to process and more than anything she just wanted to take a moment to breathe. She continued down to the end of the hallway to the bedroom, and felt relieved when she seen Elliot sitting on the edge of his bed toying with his phone. The second he saw her he threw it to the side and motioned for her to come over to him.

"How are you feeling?" she stood between his thighs and rested her hands on his shoulders. His hand held onto her waist and gently massaged what he sure were aching muscles.

"Fat and hungry," she sighed and reached to run her hand over her swell. This baby was due any minute now, and she was completely over being pregnant.

"Baby, you're pregnant."

"As if I couldn't forget!" she scoffed and grabbed ahold of her belly.

"You know what I mean," he chuckled. "He'll be here any day, but I need for him to hold off for at least another week."

"Why?" she grimaced.

"I have to make a trip up to Massachusetts on Wednesday to close a few deals. I'll be back on Sunday night," he tried his best to speak as if it weren't a big deal, but he knew the chances of this baby coming this week were higher than ever.

"Elliot…" she pouted and felt the tears stinging her eyes. This was their last baby and Olivia didn't need any obstacles like this in the way. "You can't postpone this? They know your pregnant wife is due soon."

"It's crucial that I make it this week up there. That way as soon as the baby is born I won't have any business to travel for for months," he placed both hands on either side of her belly and kissed it. "You know I wouldn't go unless it was really important. I spoke to Serena before she left, and she agreed to stay at the house just in case. I'll be on the first plane out of there," he gave her a reassuring smile and she shook her head with worry.

"I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?" his silence gave her her answer and she sighed. She lifted his chin with her thumb and index finger, and placed a kiss to his lips. "So you convinced my mother to stay here, huh?"

"Didn't take much convincing," she laughed lightly and moved out of his hold.

"Maybe it'll be fun, you know? Having her around for a few days. I think Corinna will love that. She wants to get to know her desperately, and I can see it's killing her that there's a limited amount of time to do that," she used the hair tie on her wrist to put her hair up in a ponytail. "This whole thing is insane. Maybe we should be talking to some sort of specialist or something?"

"I'm not opposed to it. Whatever you think is best for the girls, and most importantly- for you," he stood and walked over to where she stood by the bathroom suite. "You amaze me more and more everyday, you know that?" he came up behind her and ran his hands over her shoulders.

"I amaze myself if we're being honest," she laughed but there was sadness laced in it. Olivia grabbed his hand on her shoulder and brought the back of it to her lips. "Can we spend the rest of the night watching movies and eating snacks in bed? No more sad talk, at least until tomorrow," she turned to face him.

He looked into her dark pools and seen the anguish hidden in them. The day they stood at that alter making a vow to be there for each other, no matter what, has led up to this very moment. Elliot knew it was his time to step in and be a steady support system for his family. As much as it pained him to lose Serena too, he knew the effect of her loss would be much greater on Olivia.

"You bet," he agreed. If normalcy is what she needed tonight, then he would do just that for her. "I'll grab the snacks and you pick out a good movie. A horror film if you're feeling risky," he joked.

"Yuck!"

"It was worth a try," he loved a good thrill, however, Olivia did not. "Anything but that 'Notebook' movie, okay? I'll be right back," she snickered and shoo'd him away.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Wednesday, November 12**

 **6:18 am**

"Olivia…" the honeyed voice of Elliot whispers in her ear and gently coaxes her from her sleep. It's a fight to get her up these days, but he successfully wakes her without getting chewed out this morning.

"You're leaving already?" her voice is scratchy and still mixed with sleep. She's hidden in a bundle of blankets and pillows, only the very top of her head peeking through.

"Yes baby," he kisses her multiple times on the cheek and laces the tips of his fingers through her hair. "My flight leaves soon. I gotta get going," she lifts her arms out of the covers and pulls him close to her. She hugs him tight for just a few extra moments, and kisses him lovingly before saying goodbye. Olivia knows it's only for a few days, but she needs him more than ever right now.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too," she rolls out of bed with his help, and pulls on her fluffiest robe before following him downstairs. It was shocking to see her mother in the kitchen getting breakfast prepared for the kids already.

"I'm going to head out," he gave Serena one last hug.

"You be safe," she kissed both of his cheeks.

"I'll try. You call me for anything," he kissed Olivia again before grabbing his luggage and heading out the door.

"I'm so glad you're staying," Olivia hugged her mother. "But I don't expect you to do all of this," she motioned towards the food cooking on the stove.

"Oh but love, I want to," Serena grabbed her hand and led her to take a seat at the kitchen island. "You take a seat and _relax_ ," she kissed her cheek and handed her a cup of hot tea. "Corinna is helping Pia get ready for school. I was hoping I could ride along?"

"Yes, of course mom. Pia will absolutely love that," she grinned and took a sip from her mug. In the corner of her eye she noticed her mother staring at her. "What?"

"You- I just, sometimes I look over and see you and can't believe this is all real. My Olivia, is pregnant and a mom of two beautiful little girls. I'm just so happy I get to see all of this before…" her voice faded and Olivia felt her heart rip in two.

"Me too," there was a silence that followed. "Son of a bitch," she muttered when a strong braxton hicks moved through her lower back.

"Let me guess, braxton hicks?" Serena moved over to Olivia and ran her hand over her swell, feeling for kicks.

"God yes, and it hurts like hell," she pressed a hand to her lower back. "I need you to stay in just a little bit longer," she looked down at her belly and spoke to her baby boy.

"Oh honey," Serena rubbed small circles on her back in an effort to comfort her.

"I don't see how I decided to do this one more time," she stood and stretched her back. "Can you believe Elliot wants to have more? I drew the line after we decided on this one," Serena laughed at her daughter.

" _More?_ "

"Yes mom, he wants this huge family and to move somewhere like connecticut to raise the kids. Where does he get these ideas from? I have no clue," she shook her head and went to the fridge to gather the lunch she made for Pia the night before.

"Hi mommy!" Pia jumped from the last stair and ran over to her mother, already dressed in her school uniform that she's learned to love.

"Good morning, my beautiful girl!" she tried her best and managed to lean and give her a kiss good morning.

"Good morning, Grandma Rena," Pia ran to Serena and hugged her tightly around her legs. Her fondness towards her grandmother warmed Olivia's heart. It wasn't normal for Pia to attach to people so easily.

"Hi my sweet," Serena picked up the tiny four year old in her arms and kissed her cheeks. "I made some pancakes for us this morning," she said happily.

"Really?" Pia's eyes lit up.

"I did. How about you go get your sister and we'll all eat together?" it only took a second for her to shimmy from Serena's arms and run back upstairs.

"Thank you again mom," Olivia reached over a grabbed ahold of her hand.

"You don't have to keep thanking me. Lets just enjoy these next few days together," she kissed Olivia's temple and went over to make plates for everyone.

 **Stabler Residence**

 **Friday, November 14**

 **6:42 am**

"Looks like I'll be flying in tonight," Elliot said while on facetime with Olivia.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that," Olivia laid in bed with Pia asleep next to her. Today had been declared a snow day after waking up to almost 2 feet of snow and counting. The weather had been expected this week, but the extreme snowfall had not. "Because I think this baby is coming by tomorrow."

"Why do you think that?"

"I could hardly sleep last night. These contractions are getting closer every few hours," she was quiet for a moment and moved her face out of view.

"Baby don't cry," Elliot coaxed.

"I'm sorry. I just really need you right now and this damn snow might keep you from being here in time."

"Liv, I need you to try your best to stay calm for me, okay? I'm gonna try my best to get there as soon as possible," she nodded and wiped her tear soaked face with the sleeve of her shirt. "I need to get packing. I love you baby."

"Love you," and like that he was gone. She sighed and stood to go take a look outside and rolled her eyes when she seen the snow was falling still. Olivia had been through labor twice and she knew by now exactly what the start of it felt like. As she stood in front of the balcony door she said a small prayer that this baby would hold off a little longer to get here.

He always loved coming home after every trip he made, but tonight he had never been more grateful. After being stuck at the airport for several hours and spending another few hours trying to drive the 30 minute commute home from the airport, he was happy to just pull into his driveway. Right before he boarded the plane Olivia had called him and let him know that she was in fact in labor. Her contractions had picked up since he last spoke to her this morning, and from what it sounded like, this baby was coming before the end of the day.

The moment he stepped foot into the house he heard the moans of Olivia coming from upstairs. He took the stairs by two when he heard the pain she had been in. It shook him when he seen her on all fours in the floor of their room, crying from the contractions tearing through her. Serena kneeled beside her with a cool rag and tried her best as she coached her through them.

"Oh thank god you're here," Serena said.

"Elliot!" Olivia cried when she looked up and seen him enter the room.

"The kids are at the neighbors thankfully. I'm on the phone with the operator, the ambulance is on its way but it's gonna take them way too long. This baby is coming _now_ ," Serena's words flew rapidly out of her mouth. He hadn't seen the phone on the floor.

"I thought she was hours away from needing the hospital?" Elliot tried not to panic and went to help Olivia on the ground. She was dressed in only a pair of leggings and a sports bra, and her forehead glistened with sweat. Olivia tried her best to breath through the contractions as they came.

"She was but this baby changed its route. He's coming," Serena went into the hallway with her phone and spoke to the operator.

"Baby-"

"Elliot, this hurts so damn bad!" she cried as she dipped her head low and breathed deeply. Elliot did just as they practiced a million times before and massaged her lower back, bringing instant relief. "We need to go to the hospital…"

"Liv, the ambulance is trying their best to get here with the snow," he spoke calmly to her. Serena entered the room again with her phone on speaker.

"I'm on the phone with the paramedics on the way. They need for us to check her dilation," everything was moving so rapidly since he stepped foot into the house. Elliot knew exactly what he needed to do if this baby was going to get here safely.

"This is Elliot, Olivia's husband. Tell me what I need to do," he said towards the phone.

"You're going to need to use your fingers to check her cervix. It'll be easier if you can get her to lie back."

"Let's try and get you up on the bed," Elliot moved to help her but she shrieked when he touched her.

"I can't move, it's too much!"

"You can...you can do this. Come on baby," he tried again and thankfully was able to get her onto her knees. With Serena's help they got her up onto the bed where he assumed Serena had placed towels beforehand.

"Ah!" Olivia cried out as another contraction came again.

"I'm going to check here real quick Liv," he stripped her of her leggings and underwear to check.

"Shit," the words slipped from his mouth when he could feel the curve of their baby's head at the opening of her cervix.

"What? What?" Serena asked panicked as she sat next to Olivia holding her hand.

"Is everything okay?" the paramedic asked.

"I can feel his head…"

"Okay, that means it's about time for her to start pushing. You need to get towels- lots of them. Olivia I need for you to follow the signs your body is telling you and push when those contractions hit," Olivia tried her best to listen intently. Panic was the last thing on her mind. She knew Elliot and her mother were worried, but that motherly instinct kicked in and she decided to listen to her body.

"I'll go get some towels," Serena went to the bathroom suite. Elliot moved to prop more pillows behind Olivia and began praying like hell when he moved to the end of the bed.

"Everythings gonna be okay baby," he stated and she bared down as she waited on the next contraction. Her face was soaked with a mixture of tears and sweat as she tried her best to just focus. This was far from ideal, but she had her husband here and her mother, and with knowledge of just that she knew everything was gonna be alright.

Serena returned from the bathroom with her arms full of towels. She dumped them on the bed and stood next to Olivia to grab a hold of her hand for support. "You're doing amazing honey, just breathe," Serena encouraged and wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

Olivia pushed when she felt a contraction coming and let herself cry out whatever helped the pain pass easier. "Good job baby," Elliot said as he watched the crown of the baby's head begin to show.

Only ten more minutes had passed before he was already here. It was the quickest birth she had ever had. The paramedics walked them through what to do, and keeping the umbilical cord attached. Immediately Elliot placed their baby boy on her bare chest, and covered them both with blankets as they waited for help to arrive.

It was incredible. No matter how many times they had been through this, he could never get over how the baby was growing inside Olivia one moment, and here in the next.

"Mama's got you baby. I got you," Olivia cried and kissed the top of his head as she tried to calm him down, and keep him warm.

"Are you okay baby?" Elliot asked.

"I'm fine, I promise. I'm just exhausted," she chuckled lightly and looked up at her mother. "Nothing makes me more happy than to have you here with me," when she had given birth to Corinna all she wanted was her mother. And the same goes for when she had Pia, and now she didn't have to wish for Serena anymore. She was right here.

"I'm so proud of you," Serena said softly and placed a kiss to Olivia's forehead. Tears began to soak her face too as she looked at her new grandchild that she had just watched be brought into this world. "Thank you for trusting me- for letting me be here to witness this."

"I love you, mom," Serena wrapped her arms around her daughters shoulders and hugged her tightly.

"I love you too honey. I love you too."

 **I decided this will be a ten chapter story. I'm excited to write this one. Leave me a review? Thanks! Xx**


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